What I learned about control and surrender after the loss of my son

Hey everybody and welcome back to Qualified, the place where incredible people share their stories of overcoming great adversity and loss to inspire you and give you hope. I'm Michelle Heaton. Have you ever experienced adversity so great that you can't even imagine being happy again? Was there a time in your life when you were shaken to the core by a loss so profound that you didn't think you would recover? In the midst of your deepest pain, did you find it hard to believe something good could come from something so bad? Well, my guest today could have answered yes to all of those questions at one time in her life. Like myself, she experienced the loss of a teenager. Her 18 year old son Mitchell. She too asked all the questions about her loss, and struggled to understand the reason he had to go. She also fought sadness and despair, and lack the will to move forward. But today, she is living proof that good does come from tragedy that others can benefit from the losses we've experienced, and that there is truly purpose that can be realized in the midst of our deepest pain and sorrow. Today, she is an author and philanthropist, speaker, and co founder and executive director of the Mitchell Thorp Foundation, a public 501 C3 organization whose mission is to support families with children that suffer from life threatening illnesses, diseases and disorders by providing financial and emotional resources to their desperate situation. Her name is Beth Thorp and it's my great privilege to have her on the show today. Welcome to Qualified Beth.

Thank you so much, Michelle. It's an honor to be here to speak with you, and your audience.

Well, thank you. Well, Beth, I'm looking so forward to hearing about all the good things you're doing now with the foundation. But before we get there, can you start by telling us about the boy whose life changed so many others your son, Mitchell, tell us a little bit about him and also about the condition that he suffered from for the last five years of his life?

Sure, absolutely. I'm, I'm looking at him now I have hanging on the wall. He's my precious my firstborn child, Mitchell. And just a beautiful boy in inside and out in. He was a healthy child. When he was born, no health issues. He was a 4.0 student in school. He loves school. And he had a really heart and a love for baseball. That was his thing. He played many sports. But his his love fell there because his father played for the Los Angeles Dodgers back in the day in the minor league system as a pitcher. So that's where that love grew from. And my husband coached both of my boys and baseball through and throughout this whole community. So many different boys he's coached. And unfortunately, at the age of 13, strange symptoms became apparent very apparent, right? When you come from a to healthy child, to all of a sudden, you're starting to look in his body language his head pain and this pain with my husband, and most of you know, what's going on Mitchell, what's happening with what's going on here. So symptoms came on at 13. And diagnosed to the age of 18. When he passed, doctors scratching their heads, we took him all over the United States, looking for answers, just horrific season of lives. We were as you can imagine any parents because he go to the ends of the earth to try to figure out what's going on. And we were just going everywhere to every doctor, every hospital visit he was in searching for the root cause of what was causing all this head pain, what was happening to him. And doctors not giving the answers. I mean, that was a season a total chaos and confusion. Because then you're left with well, what is really going on,

That must have been so frustrating for you because the normal response for any of us when an illness comes is to turn to the medical professionals and get a diagnosis and then treatment options. But that wasn't happening for you. So faced with this harsh reality, what did she do next?

That was a rude awakening for us as parents, that doctors aren't human. They don't know everything. We might think that they are gods that they should know everything. But we're walking into this hoping that they have answers and when they didn't have answers. It really left us like someone pulled the rug underneath us and then we began to do our only searching right at that time and just trying to figure out Has anyone seen symptoms like this? Has anyone heard of things like this? And when I think back at that time, a decade ago, when we were walking this journey into, like, from 2003, he passed in 2008. You know, social media was any really round, it was MySpace. I mean, that's what they had it, they had to go back and think. So there really wasn't a lot of social media, or I could get it out there. And it was all print. We took his story in print to the Union Tribune here. And that was really hard to do to kind of let your privacy be known. But we were really trying to search for answers when no one could help us and the doctors were scratching their heads, trying to figure it out. And we kept doing the next indicated thing, when people would come to us and we looked into this, have you looked into that, you know, you started hearing all these things, and you, again, no stone unturned, we had them tested for heavy metals, and yes, metals were showing up, we had them key lated and then one thing after another, and then you're like, Okay, well, maybe it's Lyme disease, okay, we had him test for Lyme disease. But back then those tests were not what I understand today, not really accurate, and can't find lines in bloodwork because it hides itself in the tissue. So it could have been, again, underlying symptoms of that, again, this is what I'm thinking. But then again, nothing was concrete. And when he passed, you know, it was horrific for us to even try to read the autopsy report, because he passed in the hospital of Texas, from another new took him to the hospital, they're looking for answers. And it said undetermined.

Yeah, yeah, I get that. Sadly, I too received undetermined cause of death from the medical professionals at the time of my son's passing. It's not an easy thing to deal with, for sure. So talk about your emotions at that time, and how did you even begin to process it?

As you know, until this day, people say how do you live without knowing? You know, and I might never know the answers ever, until I get to heaven. And even then, you might I might not know the all the answers. And it's just it's just, I can't even explain it. But uh, you're left in shock. You're left in disbelief. You're left in? What answering the why God? And then, you know, I went through that whole phase, right? So you know, sometimes you're not meant to know why. You're trying to figure out the Y. Trying to figure out what do I do with all this?

Yeah, the why seems kind of pointless after a time and we just have to move forward. Like you said, can you talk about the specific ways that Mitchell's illness and his ultimate passing impacted you? What emotions did she feel and have to work through?

confusion, anxiety, there's fear, all those emotions racing, through but through all of us, trying to save our child and, and to already be told by doctors that they don't know what this is. And yet clearly, he was deteriorating. before our eyes. It was truly an emotional struggle that tested our fate, literally. And there's so many things that can happen as we know in this world that erode away at least for me, our faith, all the little disappointments, the frustrations in life, the pain we all go through kind of chips away at it. It chips away at ourselves or on social competence. It chips away that faith and other people have to twisting stress starts to be broken. And it really chips away even a god Why are you doing this? What did I do to deserve this? Right all those questions that I'm Why would God allow it? They Yes. And you know, I be honest with your audience. Yeah, I asked all those questions.

Yeah, and that's a common response. I hear from many other guests. I've interviewed anger at God questioning faith. So how did you ultimately overcome those feelings?

I had to dig deep to get back into my faith even stronger. And I even had to bring my husband and my other son along with me because they're just floundering out there right. Not knowing how to handle all this. So we as a family kind of got we for me, open my Bible. I read it daily. They constantly kind of opening it up going okay you speak to me, Lord more. Where did you meet? What do you need to speak to me about this today and some times for new believers or people who don't believe. They don't know where to turn. So then they are searching for answers, maybe in all the wrong places. And they think they're going in the right places. And believe me, I did that. You know, because I, we were, we were running all around looking for answers. But ultimately, when things were not working out to our advantage, you know, things were really hard. And we were hard pressed.

Well, you made the comment that it felt like it was testing your faith. And then you open the Bible and read, was that a comfort to you? And if so, how did it comfort you?

Well for those who don't believe the Bible is the gospel of truth. And it's the good news, right? So it's, it's the most, when we're talking about books, I mean, is the most well read book in the universe. I mean, it is the book, if you had to read one book, I would say, pull out that book. If you find yourself really lost, and in the deepest pain and grief right now, or just had no, your could be in the state of depression or wherever you're not start there. But then the Bible can get kind of confusing for people, you know, because it can be like, well, I read this, but I don't quite understand it. So you really then I tell people who are like those who are searching because he God created us with the mind, body and spirit. Right? And that spirit is what God factor our hearts. And he all He created us all that way. And he drives us closer to him. He wants us all not to flounder, and be the Lord and he called the lost sheep. He just loves when he can get one of his last sheep back to him, because God is near to the brokenhearted and the crushed in spirit. Yes. And so for me, like you said, that's where it brought me in my comfort. And probably it was for me my comfort. Hmm. Also looking for direction, the same time.

I'm so glad that she found comfort and direction again in reading the Bible. Beth, in your book, you talked about you and your husband doing everything possible to help Mitchell. And then finally you had no choice but to come to a place of total surrender. Can you talk a little about that difficult time.

As a mom, our job is to always make things better. Right? Then I couldn't fix this. And it was heart wrenching to me that I couldn't take my son's pain away. Yeah. And part of that process was total surrender. At that point, I had to give up that control has blamed my husband and I were like two pit bulls trying to keep them here on this side of heaven. Right on this earth. We were praying for his healing here on this side of heaven. We did not want him to go. And ultimately, when I was at the last hospital stayed for over a month and just so exhausted, so spent in they basically sent Mitchell home with us and said put them in palliative care. Basically saying take him home to die. But we were not ready to give up on her. You know, we had that. Again, strength within us and we had a lineup when they released. I then at that point when all integrated medicine I were fired and intuitionist he left the hospital with the G Tube luckily, because he quit at that point couldn't swallow would take down food. So I hired a nutritionist, an osteopath, a physical therapist or pastor and all these people lined up to just kind of make these visits and home to care for him in he did survive another year from that point and started to have a glimmer of light a glimmer of hope he started to look better. And he wasn't grabbing his head as much in pain. So it was definitely a challenging time. Yeah, well

I understand a mother's instinct and drive to help your son for sure. So some time later as you were continuing to walk this path of Grief and Healing you experienced some very special moments that you believe were truly signs from heaven. That Mitchell's Okay, can you tell us about one of them?

There are several and in the book I photographed and people never believed half of the stuff that happened. Yeah, if I didn't photograph it, and there were several and on chapter 17, speaking beyond the veil of heaven, is what I titled it in. Mitchell's walking stick has a lot to do with why it's titled a new creation so you'll have to read the book to know that but I can tell another sign after his passing a butterflies. Butterflies are usually a significant symbol, like hummingbirds and things of that nature. But there were so many signs that when Mitchell's alive with me would be outside his wheelchair and butterflies would be flying around us and be sitting there together. Out side and I'd be talking to him to him and, and I just see oh gosh, Mitchell God's gonna heal us. And I know he's gonna set you free like these butterflies flying around us. He's gonna set you free from this pain and but in my mind, I'm thinking being healed on this side. Yeah, I had no I didn't think the other way. Yeah, yeah. When he passed, it was really within that month we took our dogs we had two beautiful golden retrievers one was his dog, and we were taking our walk when the on the lagoon down here. And something just told me to stop. And Britt has rockin milk. He says, Why are you stopping? I said, No, I said, stop. And he's what I said, Son was just telling me to stop, you have to stop and be still. And we sat there, okay, don't stop and the dogs are panting away. And these butterflies were flying around us. And just. And then I just was just, I don't know what caused me just to just be still and it landed on the post, I put my finger down to see if it would come on my hand. And sure enough, it did crawl on my finger and I lifted it up. And then it flew away. Right. And then it started buzzing my husband's head literally flicking his hair. If he's like guarding this butterfly, like of looking at him. As a man, it landed. And we're watching this and it landed right on his right shoulder and it just sat. And we just were both like, he's like this with his eyes open. Like, I stopped moving. Just Just be still. And then I said, Honey, I said do you realize that's the same shoulder, you always lift and carry Mitchell up and down the stairs on that right shoulder. Because he couldn't walk anymore. At that time. He was always lifting and sharing. Jesus that butterfly sign on his right shoulder. I said I think Mitchell's tiny animal key the next year all the heavy lifting. That was the first time we're literally that the veil, I really feel that was lifted off my husband's eyes. Just really interpret them. Because he God knows how to speak to each one of us individually. And he'll speak to us the way he knows how to get to us for what we need to see. And it's different for everyone. Right? So it's really different for everyone.

It's a beautiful story. And thank you so much for sharing that. I can attest to the fact that these moments do occur because I've had many myself since Sean passed away. I call them Sean moments, and I consider them to be sacred. What would you say to someone who thinks this kind of divine intervention isn't possible? Or it's all in our heads?

Well, you know, first of all, I'd say again, you have to believe Yeah, and it's it is so true in this world. Many children are not raised to know that there is a higher being. Yeah, yeah. So there are many people who don't have faith. They're atheists or this that the other just don't. They walk to their own drumbeat. They're basically god of their lives, right? And then I would usually ask people like that, who wants to know what makes you tick? Why? How can you get through this is what happens when you're on nonbeliever. When both hardships of life hit in your life crumbles, you are not going to be able to stand through it, you are going to crumble with it, and you will not. I've seen it in so many cases, people that have turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain or, or they do other things that are not healthy to deal with the pain. And eventually, it's going to explode. Eventually, they're going to crumble. Yeah,

I always say that when you know, tragedy hits like this, people either run to God or away from him. You know, and even if somebody has a relationship with God, like you talked about before, it could cause them to doubt their faith, and then they can turn to something else. So fast forward all this time. And you talked about the foundation, what was the turning point in your life where you and your husband decided to use what you had been through to start a foundation for good?

Wow. Yeah,that was a profound moment. Because really, it started back in. We were still grieving. And we went to grief share many times, but then we knew we needed more help. Losing a child can wreak havoc on the marriage. So we needed one on one counseling for us. We saw our spiritual counselor in the very first thing she worked with Brad and I. And the first thing she took us through was forgiveness. And there were so much that we were carrying for all those years. Forgiving doctors who couldn't find the answers people saying things they shouldn't have said family members that did things that they shouldn't you know how those things just keep piling up, piling up in his gets pushed down and you're carrying on And then in order for you to release what no longer serves you, you need to forgive. And you need to get it off and you need to lay down. It's like letting go of heavy bricks, obviously off that you've been carrying for so long. My husband was a bawling mess on the floor, right? Because men have a hard time expressing your motion. But it was a release that he needed. And, and I'm watching this in front of me, but I knew he needed it. And then she worked on me. And so same kind of exercise, letting go of things inside, and even forgiving each other as a married couple, you know, because you're fearful. And you're always going after people closest to you that you love. It's just a natural human thing, forgiving each other for things we said, and did, shouldn't have. So once we came through that whole exercise, we were exhausted by that by that night, and the next morning, I woke up, you can see that was my transformational moment. For myself. I can't speak for my husband. But as I said to him, I looked him in the eyes. And I told him, I don't want to do anything else on this planet. Unless it has eternal significance. There's nothing else matters. That's right, you lost so much, you know, and you lose it. You lost everything you can. And then you begin to realize nothing can compare to the loss of a child because we could have lost her home, which we almost did you know, because paying for all the medical bills and all I say, but does that really matter? You know, I was just, you get to the point, when you're like, one, you have no control over anything in our lives. Really, if you think about it, you try to control it. We try to control it. Yeah, as best as we can. But ultimately, you know, if you think about it, whether you're a believer or not lever, we're here today, we've gone tomorrow in a heartbeat, just like that. Yeah. And it's really up to us as humans. What are we doing with our lives? Are we doing the most to impact people's lives? And that can be for people who are just so you're not a believer, just being kind to your neighbor? Yeah, that you that you overlooked, you know, just being kind delivering a little homebaked bread with that, it doesn't matter. It's just like getting out of yourself. That's the first thing I tell people get out of yourself, and help someone else, and then you'll start take the focus off of you. Mm hmm. And that really was helpful. I didn't know that lesson really. Because when you said one was a turning point, when I came to the transformational moment, and then in my deepest pain of Greece, and curled up in a ball and not lying on the bed anymore. God said, this is not the end. This is the beginning. That's what illuminated my mind. And I'm curled up in a ball and I sit in up in my bed and I'm looking upwards. And I'm like, it feels like the end. What do you mean, this is not the end? I pardon me died right in front of you died. And then that week, my husband for heard a similar message. He was in the church over here. And I heard a similar message that we should start a phone to start or something because he was coaching two boys in the community. They both had cancer, one had lymphoma, one in non Hodgkins both families struggling against just like what we were going through. And that that strong feeling says, you know, we should form a bridge, Alicia for our foundation helped many way through what we went through, comes home to tell me that God spoke to me we should start a foundation and I'm looking at where you want to do what I know, we don't know anything about starting a foundation. What? You know, I'm doing that. And then I kind of had to sit back and listen that go ask what you meant God that this is not the end, beginning. And so there we were, we started with one child at a time. He went and filed the paperwork to form a 501 C three, we got on our hands and knees and literally admitted it over to him the Lord and said, God, you're the CEO of ours. We are not you got to work through us. We are your vessels. But you got to help us. An honest to goodness, I'll tell you. It just kind of has grown. So here we are, you know, 14 years later given back, and how many countless that were banded 1000s of our children and families. We've helped over 3 million and counting back out into the community, helping children and families struggling like we were and it's just I keep pinching myself like wow.

Wow is right. That is such an incredible story of how faith played out in your lives and how God used something tragic for something good. Thank you for that. Beth, can you tell us about one of your proudest moments or someone you help that just warms your heart when you think about Mitchell and what

There are a lot of stories and it was hard to pick one and you're doing now? but you know, first I have to say yes, there's there's many one I have to probably go. Although a recent, a young teenage girl 19 years old, I won't say her name, single mom. She had osteo sarcoma lung cancer, for one of her legs was cancer is now spreading to her lungs. Mom's scared out of her mind, right. And we're going into the hospital, my husband and I to meet this family because we get all our usual referrals from the social workers from the hospitals, some families that are just, you know, they hit rock bottom, and they need help. Mom hit, you know, single mom, imagine how she thinks are the doing all this right? So we kind of go in and and they introduce who we are. And I started talking to this young girl, and she's sharing with me in I don't know where their faith is right? I don't know. But we're just talking and letting her talk and just see what we do. And what would you be open for prayer in her? They were like, absolutely. So we did pray, we all held hearings and came around and bin Laden hands it and prayed over the whole situation and the doctors for care and whatnot. And then she started to open up to me and she says Ron, I really wanted to go to college, and I, this is all set back and everything. You know how you start that feeling of I'm defeated. And I just started right away, bringing life into her, I said you will look at me in the eyes and see you will go to college. This part of your life may seem like the end, but it's a chapter in your life. And you're gonna turn this chapter. And I didn't know but I'm just pouring life and faith into her that she was losing faith can't lose faith. You got Isaiah, you are one warrior woman, you are strong. And you will get through this. And then we'll fast forward. We have our big warrior spirit 5k Run walk every year. That's our big annual fundraiser for the foundation for a lot of these families instead of Team pages to come walk for Johnny and Susie and people can donate and really helps to build a little more income for these families more than you know the foundation are great do a grant but then some of these cases are long term. So fast forward, this young lady is in college she has graduated, the mom says only as she was passing such as I said, Well, of course she is. She wore your you know or your girls. So you know, it's beautiful to use stories of going down and her family would always say you know, your faith was unbelievable in terms of she says thank you for pouring into my daughter. Like that. So lots of things like those are great moments. Yeah,

I love that story. You know, I read your book, and I just was blown away by everything that you've been through and how your faith really kept you strong and kept you motivated to continue on. And then I turned to one chapter and see that your husband got a diagnosis of throat cancer. And then a few years later, you got a diagnosis of a brain tumor. So my question to you is, you had so much adversity in your life? Was there ever a time then when your faith began to waver?

Well, you know, by then, no, because I had so many at that time when that happened when my husband got the diagnosis. I had happened a leaving that day, from a Bible study with a group of women and he calls me in when I'm walking in the parking lot and says, Oh, I just got test results. I have throat cancer. And I just like you know, it's like the balloon, the air gets taken out of your balloon again. And you're like, Have I look upward again I'm say ugh I can't do this again. As I cried out to Him and then again, that still small voice how he does for me. That's why I'm say people you gotta get to know God, the strong relationship with him because, you know, I don't hear him all the time. Right? Is that like we but I talked to him all the time. Right? Right. But when you really need him and then all he said is simple words "I got him".that was all I had to hear. And he was telling me I don't have to carry it. Because at how we want to share it again. I had to carry my son and through all this for five years. I couldn't carry one more thing. And he said I got so he said to me, I got it. And then all's I needed to know that I'm just thank you. And I was I need to know it's love my husband through it. It was a hard thing or seeing both through and loving through it. So really, by the time it came to me, it was so amazing. I mean, not really amazing, but it was like almost a month before my big again 5K event coming up. I was working on that all the plans in place and and I had a mini seizure in the middle of the night. That basically Okay, scored that drove me to the ER. And where they took the scans and saw a very large five centimeter tumor. And you're like, again out of body experience and you're looking at this you're going what the shots at anyway. And they said, if we don't remove this, you'll be dead in two years. So you gotta get this out. And we don't know if it's cancerous until we send it off the lab. So talk about God intervening. And the beautiful thing about that is, I know the head ER doctor, here at Scripps, and he actually his outlet he plays in our band at the event. There, I actually named their band. It's called the doctor, doctor band, and they are all doctors. But anyway, he opens a curtain. And he says, What are you doing here? and I said Oh, my gosh, I says, I don't know. But this is what's happened. And he says, Don't worry, I got you into scans. And you come in, and then he found the neurosurgeon on call that day. And he was just so instrumental in just being there for me, which is great. But the intercessory of prayer of my people around me that was lifted me up. I'll have to tell you, Michelle, I had no fear. I felt elevated above the ground, I can't tell you how important to have people praying, the power of prayer, people in need, is so strong. And to have intercessors pray for you when you cannot. That's important of having people around you that can pray for people when they're ill, or sick or whatnot. And they can't, it helps lift them up to the situation, the surgery. Whatever. Yeah,

I'm so happy to hear that you had peace in the midst of all of this. It actually seems like all the adversity you had been through in your life up until this point had been preparing you and made your faith stronger.

Oh, yeah, it grew. I was there was no fear at that point. Because I told my husband I said, you know, before when the surgery instead of, if Mitchell and God are calling me home, I'm okay with it. If he looked at me, and he says, oh, no, I was No, when you come out. But you know, I was like at that place in my life, like, Okay, you're either done with me in it. I do survive. God's got for our work for me to do. And then when I woke up from it paralyzed on the right side, I couldn't walk to your eyes. It took me a long time to recover from that six months to learn to walk and drive for two years. But anyway, that's a whole nother story. But talk about perseverance. And when I woke up from that, and I'm all bandaged up and recommend I look at as my guest God's done, that would be the perfect guest work to do.

Yeah, I think you got that right. What a story. So Beth, given everything that you've walked through in this life, all the trials and adversity you've experienced, what lessons have you learned that you can pass along to someone listening right nowwho needs hope?

Life's a journey, I'll tell you, for all of us. We're all carrying our own cross, right? Don't give up. Persevere, fight the good fight upstate. Faith doesn't always take you out of the problem. Faith gets you through the problem. Faith doesn't always take away the pain that you're going through. But faith gives you the ability to handle all the pain and the messiness. And then faith doesn't always take you out of the storms of life. But the Faith is going to help you carrying through it. So it's usually and I always tell the story in a Peter getting on the boat. Yeah, the faith just about boat but one began to doubt he was saying, you say That's right. So you know, hang in there. This is our one strong Bible verse. That was very prominent when Mitchell was sick. That resonated with my family, when a pastor spoke about it, and you could write it down. Audience, Joshua 1:9. And it's God speaking to Joshua before he went into war, but he said, Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged for the Lord thy God is with you wherever you go. He'll give you strength and courage to get through. Whatever this life this crazy life throws at us all right, but ain't over yet. Think of Joshua 1:9, strength and courage. We put it on all our T shirts, at all our events and our hats and just it's a reminder that yeah, you know, sometimes they say Lord, I'm not this strong. He's like, Oh, yes, you are. Oh no i'm not. Yes, you are. And they get strength into I have to repeat that to myself a lot. Yeah.

I love that scripture, Be strong and courageous for he's with us everywhere we go, amen. Well, before we close, can you just tell listeners where they can go to find out more about the Mitchell Thorp Foundation, and also get a copy of your book

MitchellThorpfoundation.org is where you can go and check out what we do with helping families or so you might know that the only or the child that really needs help, and are struggling, you can refer them to our website. And you can even get the book on there. And we created a separate website for the book, it's just called a new creation.org, that a n ew creation.org, then you can get a book there. Or you can just buy it online, or in bookstores, wherever you get your books. It's available, it just came out. And it's only been out seven months now. And the beautiful thing about all this, Michelle that just came about this. I'm working with to film producers as we speak, taking it into a screenplay.

Congratulations!

When it comes out, it's been a huge undertaking. So I don't know when. But if it comes, you'll have to come walk the red carpet with me.

I would love to!

You'll get an invite.

Thank you. I'm going to put a link to your website in the show notes to make it easy for listeners to go there. And that way they can stay tuned for when the film comes out. Yes, wonderful. At this point, I just want to thank you so much for agreeing to come on the podcast. It was just a pleasure talking to you.

Thank you for the work you're doing. The lessons of this, there are so many people, especially since so many people lost people to COVID and so many hurting people out there. Thank you, Michelle.

So for those of you listening, you heard Beth speak about the pain of losing her teenage son Mitchell to an undiagnosed illness. She and her husband did everything in their power to keep him here to find a solution that would bring him back to health, but it was out of their control. When we get hit with the hard stuff in life, we feel out of control and we don't like it. But when Beth learned to surrender and begin to relinquish her control back to God, her faith deepened, and she became even stronger to face all that was ahead in her life. Don't lose hope today, my friend. Loss is so hard and it can drag us down if we let it. At one point Beth lack the will to go on. But she persevered and now she's helping so many others. And Michell's story will live on in a feature film very soon. So be inspired. And one day you too will be able to help someone else with the lessons you learned in your loss. Thanks for listening